my muse myself

so these things, these things all provide new
the new so far, is the same old jive
the queen so lonely
longing to be a different part of the hive
i like her, wish in this swarm
that these little bees did not follow
i wish to go alone
i can not help all of you
not like what you need
the watering is up to you
i simply plant the seed

I am a Muse.

old friends, old music

I've known these people a long time

I know most of them very well

though times change

we seem to trade

it seems strange

downward spiral

que generic scene drop

unique line

the speakers play pop

my life the indie movie

just doesn't seem to end

it plays on loop

continue till I'm dead

but hold.

the scene changes

an unexpected surprise

after watching this movie 

a thousand times

it feeds and gives life 

to intangible rhymes

the beat rises

and my tune begins to quirk

with the loss of sameness

loss of stress to shirk 

i swim in this sea

and cease to sink

depressive smiles

I sit wondering if I’m depressed
Ponder as I smile
Heading the call of distress
I suppose I’ll be here a while

But the journey takes me
Takes me somewhere new
Somewhere near you
You, who I am, and will always be
I travel onward
Go so far
And yet so close
On this tiny planet
Home bound for the coast
With this piece of toast
So gently placed in my mouth
Nourishing my doubt
And yet suspending all disbelief

i try

i try,
i try very hard sometimes
i try to not get involved
its not fair to other people
i'm a mess
and i'm aware
but i try

i turn a blind eye
all the world can still see me
open in all aspects
except for knowing where to be
i've never felt so alone
i've never wanted to leave this much
stuck in waiting
i've never longed so for your touch

i travel alone
even with all these people
aboard my time boat
traveling freely

i will be ok
life goes on always with or without me