friends

note the nodes
they fly in rows
accept my eyes
exempt my nose
the tales that show
they tell me what to know
...and where to go...
lost in constant flow...

time does not exist
for those who can not change
who am i to say normal
when i am feeling so damn strange

the key to life
a happy knife
let go right?
and do not fight

the feelings go by
pass right in time
sour expressions fade
as you suck your lime and smile
lost for an eternity
but found in just a while
then stuck in line and file

hello my friend
where have you come from?
you speak in strange words
unfamiliar silver tongue
from the depths you come
and soon
you will go on back home

i hope you will be my friend
i hope you will be my friend
i hope we can be friends...

maybe

fall the leaves plopping into the water with a splash too heavy for them
the sands of time and all i know fading in front of me and away
too many people talking at the same time makes me hear nothing
trying my best does nothing when they don't care what they say anyway
so saturated my thoughts have become lately
longing to be wrung out and have the liquid inside harvested
i know these people thirst, why do they not drink?
i know these people thirst, so dammit why do they not drink?
maybe i'm just in over my head
maybe i'm just overplaying these peoples problems
maybe i'm supposed to just observe
maybe i'm supposed to let them complain
maybe it's time to log out from these problems
maybe it's time for me to take care of me
maybe... is all i have

theres no place like Xanth

It has been a while since my last post. I assure you it is through an excess of happenings as opposed to a lack. I have lived and worked at two farms, met amazing people and now have a beautiful puppy. For the past couple months I have been floating around florida. It's warm here but the local people are strange, the bugs are feirce and the weather is stranger than Vermont's. I can't wait for the end of winter. As far as living on the road I have learned that it is as easy as you make it. As long as you have the right mind set it is far better, in my opinion, than living the "American dream". You don't need a car, you don't need a cell phone, you don't need a house. You need to be comfortable with yourself. if those things help, then sure go for it! Just keep in mind that they are a luxury, they are not necessity and you are in good fortune to have them. I plan to be in florida for too long, once I break out of florida I will be a happy happy camper.

questions for peace

In light of the ensuing chaos, positive thought may be the only weapon for peace. War for peace does not make sense, but a question may. Ask with me each day "What does peace mean to me?"

-please share this link!

http://www.adguk-blog.com/2013/09/scientist-photographs-soul-leaving-body.html

southern comfort

So far I am seeing some major differences between the north and the south. First off NASCAR is whey bigger here, secondly the word y'all, third the southern hospitality. Beyond that spicy food, slow drawls and most importantly it's warm. Today we had the good fortune to go swimming, and thank god for that! We have been just hanging around North Carolina for the time being soon we will be going to a beach house. It will be nice to have some ocean time. For the duration so far Claire and I have either been looking at her old stomping grounds and hanging with her family. Her family seems to be filled with spunky and exciting folk with a lot of spirit. They all have had something fun and entertaining to provide me with. At times I have felt overwhelmed (as I am not used to such hospitality in the north) but all in all I have received a very warm welcome.

claires blog!

if you wish to follow claires interpretation of the trip her blog is here! there will be another one soon as well.

http://claireaudient.tumblr.com/

wobbling spiders

absolutely natural
like the spiders in my hair
staying on the path
because of the webbing snare
giggling many
across a wet field
star scape awe strike
enhancing what we feel
we venture fast
wobbling slow
perfectly curious
of what the world will show

...and we know...

troubles perceived
out of sight and mysterious
not something we feel
we are far too curious
we will go to sleep
one time or another
but i'm glad to have her
more than the cover

as i lay dreaming

as i lay dreaming
my soul flies away
oh when will i arise
to see the light of day

the thing about this lucid dream
so prevalent in my mind
no matter how much time is spent
it's the same as the amount i find

i gain concern
when in this dream
i once again arise
to find myself
in dream again
with yet another disguise

The south doesnt need to rise it's beautiful where it is!

The visit was short but still very pleasant, Virginia seems to be a nice place. Claire's uncle Thom and myself, had a ping-pong exchange while he got a chance to catch up and ask us what we were up to. they sent us off with much appreciated full bellies and warm coffee in new mugs! Those little things make a big difference. We drove for what seemed to be way too long, then finally after quite a few hours more of travel Claire's parent's place was in conceivable distance. We first saw her brother Nathan, then her father Eric, not seconds later her sister Hannah. Her mother Anna-Marie was still at work. After hugs, and a stern enough stare-down from her father to myself (joking) we set off to surprise Claire's mom at work. We arrived at Angus Barn in Raleigh just as it was closing, tried the front had no luck so we went around to the back. The man we spoke to said that we had missed her by moments, so decided to launch myself down a hill into some gravel (for very unrelated reasons). I cleaned my wounds in a gas station then we went back to meet Anna-Marie at her home. She was very glad to both meet me and see her daughter again, the feeling was mutual. We had a laugh at my stupidity then talked about life for a moment before bed. Unfortunately in the night as we were in our dreamland our little miss Meep decided it was time for us to part ways. Claire noticed very quickly (the lack of cute little scurries gave it away). We frantically looked for her for quite a while but unfortunately she had decided she liked the grass too much.... She will be missed. The next day Claire took me through downtown Durham in the American Tobacco district. It's an amazing place filled with rich history and full of cool places to explore. Between the amazing architecture and the southern hospitality I'd have to say it's good to be in the south. OH! and WAFFLE HOUSES! (thank you Nathan!)

to there and back then where again?

After an amazing tour through new york from Claires uncle Brad; seeing the sights like a local, going to a hole in the wall restaurant with amazing food, checking out silly goth stores, drinking 'lights' and 'darks' in McSorelys, traversing through a farmers market, just being gengerally treated to a lovely NYC experience; we set off in the evening toward PA. We were met with some heavy traffic and a little road rage. The roads are not like those in Vermont, that's for sure.
We took the New Jersey turnpike and drove all the way passed Baltimore before we realized that we had gone the wrong way. In a rest stop at one in the morning, we had to make a decision, we could go the two hours back up to PA or the 5 or so toward North Carolina. Both of us feeling sleepy we decided on not taking the longer distance option and biting the gas cost anyway. We arrived at Claire's grandfather, Robert's house at 3:30 am. Our plan was to sleep in a tent until morning, but fortunately he was still awake. Finally we had reached some much deserved sleep. The next morning Robert treated us to eggs and english muffins, along with some kind conversation. we set off from there around 1 making it through Pennsylvania and then Maryland once again into Virginia where we are now. Visiting with uncle Thom in this extravagant house. The country here is beautiful, the trees are nice and the tea is tame. I am happy to be here.

sustain

oh, hope
it tides away for a time
sending my feelings and words to fly
but hey look,
the tide comes back
bringing with it, the fish we lack
to sustain our needs
so we thank the seas
who's mighty power brines
salts our sides in time
with the ocean
we know we will be just fine

first leg

To start off our trip Claire and I set off to new york, poofing out of ol' Lyndonville and into the world. Both of us are wide eyed and curious good things will come of this i am sure. We plan to be in North Carolina by tomorrow evening. should be excellent!

her light

my baby she swings
the level she brings
she tells me of stories
her former glories
with those she once remembered
silent i sit
not one word i spit
what i will make
is what she can take
i bring to her what i have rendered

somehow you see
it falls onto me
to see what she has given
she gives things but once
expects not a fuss
yet lights the life i live in

she lights the life i live in

such a short life

push to float
watery in these times
only the buoyant survive
oh boy do they live their lives
i guess its time to overflow
getting into the know
everglowing
onward showing
where shall i go next?
what life shall i live?

the present

its time to go
loads of adventures to behold
reading the time-scape
left to right
revealing stories untold
i will reach trials
i will overcome them
knowing is half the battle
doing is all the fun

but i cant just take my own word for it

the past is gone
only to be remembered
the future will never come
efforts crushed in futile rage
the current moment is a gift
its the only one we have
thats why its called the present

spaced out

i feel like I'm in outer space
orbiting the planet below
the subtle beep I've grown to enjoy
is a lie i pretend to know
as i stare at the earth
i dream of falling toward it
plummeting to a fiery death
in a manor most morbid
i am avoiding the truth
because it makes me sad
i really am falling
but the earth is so fast
the key to flying
is to miss the earth
thats the logic satellites use
but they don't mind
their mood inert
need company only to replace a fuse

Falling this Summer

i ponder while i wander
my brain doesn't want to rest
giving it my all
doesn't mean I've done my best
i guess ill get on the road
this cities already burnt down
i don't have certainty
which is why i wander around

but thank you for reminding me of my practice

i will keep my beginners mind
i will learn what i came here to
i will be kind to others
break the borders of "me" and "you"
theres nothing that can stop me
I've chosen the rabbit hole
my ego awakened in awareness
all in cahoots with my soul

as i fall, fall, fall
i see it all
its only when i stop
i think I've reached the top

i sway east and blow west
the cold wind whipping from the north
pressing my direction south
still always pushing forth
in a steady gravity
i find me translucent
heavily right brained
I'm doing what the left cant

a spirit in human form
the form still yet inaccurate
testing the limits of infinity
defining ones own brackets
i say yes to your answer
i question your query
staple my mouth shut
much to your fury

but
as i fall, fall, fall
i will see it all
its only when i stop
that i fear the drop

palms

i say good sir
panic your manic
did you hear my news?
i haven't heard anything from me
i'm blindly looking so why can i not see?
but who are you and am i we are thus nothing at all
to someone not i but you can seem to fly
to the south my little mockingbird
disregard all you heard
maniacally panic
as you were

the peace will come
with waves much smaller
don't stress over small stuff
stand strong stand taller
everything will be ok
keep your waves calm
sitting cross legged
i focus on my palm

embrasure

i walk into this crowded room
words keep flying at me
i say my piece then intend to leave
my heart feeling the atrophy

their minds all wander
as my words are squandered
syllables fall on deaf ears
my cries for help
become a muted yelp
enriching my greatest fears

yet my silence
yells quite loud
as if my words are useless
i lack the discipline
that it would take
to just remain this muted

i guess ill wait
try not to taint
the loneliness held inside
i feel so faint
but i will embrace
whats trying to take me for a ride

no stress

i flow in and out
my mind unable to post what i say
verbally in disarray
what shall i do
when its awkward to stay?
i do not need to leave
my friends will all do fine
with me without me
drink from their steins
and have their good times
after shots eating the limes

too much flux i need smaller waves
too much mood i need more weed

too bad you say
i disappoint somehow today
the beaten path
the only way
but i stray
i think too much i guess
dreams of apes
all too dumb to dress
sending their calls of distress
i'll be home one day
but right now its too soon to say

silence

this road holds rocks
travel lightly if you can
i know the hills wind
but you'll get there in the end

stories told
come with fears of deaf ears
more unfolds
as i continue on through the years

i remained silent unless silenced

we find new places
all of us are one
familiar faces
with familiar fun

we make our journey
as travelers have before us
to undo all we knew
leaving me evermore curious

i became silenced while silent

as i grow and learn things to show
an arsenal of lessons to teach
i question how can i give while as long as i live
i cannot comprehend my own speech

i may get through
though frustratingly so
what i convey to you
is not all i know

i silenced myself by not being silent

we search our past
for the stories we tell
tales of our tears
emotions we yell

we describe ourselves
as the creations of the past
but these are just stories
feelings not meant to last

i become silent when silenced

the journey we have
none of us the same
is to discover ourselves
and wade through the pain

we can overcome
eventually can conquer
let go of expectation
give all you can offer

i will remain silent even if i'm not silenced

found my way home

to be or not to be
this question finally answered me
to all of those
who knew no clothes
we are who we want to see
be positive
for love is the answer
all those who come to your hilt
why not fight this cancer
your hate will drive you mad
anger causes suffering
love is the way home
all of us drunkenly stumbling
to a destination away
clicking our heels
saying what we say
theres no place like home
i wont rest til i arrive
but you are always here
just observe the hive

oh so many bees
always jumping onto me
surrounding their queens

the honey must be made
the wax there for storage
but its ok to envy
those who set out to forage

THE TRUTH

you reside in my mind all of the time

you don't pay your rent, and we meet on the fly

and you intrigue my eyes

my ears want to cry

the beauty in your words

the syllables all smile

at least thats what i heard

not even a scream can describe my feelings

the most romantic of whispers fail to compare

you want me to stay?

then i'm not going anywhere

but the way you're looking

is just too unfair

you have smooth friendly legs

they dance when they like

your smiling face

not noticing mine

your warm kind hands

throwing all your words

they cool my heart

and heal its burns

your fantasmal mind

and translating tongue

always challenging

creating new fun

Claire,

where the hell did you come from?

i may say it a lot

still can't be more true

i am so amazingly

in love with you

sharpie me i'm in love

i wander now
my thoughts forever more
the translation from right brain
obscured and told the score
to be a human
in this magnificent life
to be forever in love
to eliminate times strife
i am free of my old chains
and here i've gained new
cleaning my pasts stains
while thinking of you
i never would have gotten here
if it weren't for your love
telling me what's what
when push came to shove

for this i am grateful
because of this i have grown
because of this

i am in love

tomorrow beach

under where you tide

my side

the splits that reside inside

why do we lie to ourselves

and deceive your inner child

telling them they are wrong

they can not run wild

who are you to say 

binding your inner mind

let go of your ways

tomorrow's s too late

when every day is today

its time i ramble on

toward where i came

to my destination

the one i can not leave

i am always home

earth is my house

i reside inside

my minds eye

always killing my time

the constant wars

and perpetuating paradox

a consistent cycle

leads me here again

i am always here

i am always home

home is where i roam

yet if i could tell you 

the things that i think

my ponders wildy growing 

threatening to sink

flowing and breaking

like waves of strange horror

splashes of glee throwing me

to an undertide of love

to wake again

on the beach of tomorrow

the number four

my dreams are in flux
sometimes way too much
i'll see where it takes me now

oh, but who am i
far too contagiously high
i'll see you around the town

as you may see by golly
sentenced two years on folly
i guess you were meant to drown

and yet once again said i
you've fallen too many times
now you stand your ground

im seeing in layers

here i sit

my contemplation at its peak

the people all around me

sitting in silence

yet speaking what they call words

they transfer their ideas

their brains trying as they may

correcting the language

of all the friends they make

who are you people

can you even answer my question

what if i take your precious words

would you then use discretion?

there is something in the woodwork here

something different has come

some new existence

one we are not from

but WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?

and where the hell did you come from?

from moment to moment 

all disappearing and then some

the only thing holding us together 

is the longing to be accepted

the need to be loved

the intrigue of where we're headed

Amelia

kindling the passion
my spirit so desperately needs
so what if i am different
i go and plant all these seeds
these seeds are not all good
in fact most times they are bad
i'm learning from my mistakes
now its time to put them in effect

flow down the river sticks
where have i gone before?
i want to know so much indeed
you will have to tell me more

when i am well again
my spirit will provide guidance
bring me back to full capacity
it's there you reach your highest
the lessons you learn from knowing me
they may not come from my smarts
but rather the trials facing you
inspiring all of your arts

pacing holes in the floor

woah damn i'm pissed
you take me from my place
then you give me this?

well who the fuck are you?
you to tell me what i should
and should not do

i'm told i need to listen to society
i'm never told what parts
if i hear the whole thing
i just end up lost

you're doing it wrong
according to everyone else
so why the fuck listen
and sacrifice yourself?

one group will say
what the straight and narrow is
telling you what life is all about
that's all well and good
even through all the doubt

....but do not ever
tell me that what i say is wrong
you are the ass here
and only i know whats up
my life is designed
by the ways in my mind
the ways, you're telling me
that i will never find

tells me how smart you are...

where is my solace?
why no salvation?
why with this oneness
do i feel this frustration?

don't scratch that itch
and it will go away
pick and make it bleed
to give your clothes a stain

then pace the day away

never in my life
have i connected completely
not so much as right now
yet i feel more alone than ever
even here, in my home town

sunshine and yelling

such a depressive little boy
aren't i?
so many of these things left
just to get me down
i've been running away
why not fly?
depressive smiling
in this odd little town

...wow i try too hard...

myself is a creation of circumstance
i am a product of my environment

i was raised on sunshine and yelling
i was taught to love
but not what love means
taught to fight
but lack enemies to see
make friends to survive
for i lack the energy

maybe i'm not trying enough
i'm a victim of my emotions
telling myself i'm not enough
i just wish less people agreed

FUCK!
there's always beauty to behold
there's always a reason to smile

you can cry
its just fine
you can smile
as long as you like
life is eternal only in this instant

to learn

these new synapses
firing in my brain
still so unsettling
causing a little pain

the bridge your father warned you of
the challenge you said you would face
using ones logical mind
to not fall far from grace

but i scream in my psyche
my heart sobs so wildly
i don't know what i want
its the moments that define me

i know i could never be all that is needed
the pain is caused from this idea seeded
watered then uprooted
the shock is so much
potted in soil
water so cold
feeling the roots touch...

but there is always a lesson to learn

lightning might strike

its a planar shift
like when lightning strikes
doubling back
going up to the skies
my mind so slow inside

everything is changing
not so much becoming solid
but liquid
its state flowing through me
i try to trudge on
just walking down the road
the sap in my legs
makes this trip so grueling
so where will i go?
i need a quiet place
but i cant be trapped
i need the consistent change
in my stage
will i turn the page?
the book of my life
is becoming a cage

the planets on which i hail
slowly forming
wicked and wild
in the pouring rain
mountains drowned
in the floods of my thought
peaking out
only to collect the sun
and then wash away in the breeze...

over encumbered

you're going to be fine
all you have to do is push through
fight the laziness inside
its your motivation ringing true
but don't do this
nondescript thing
without description
no more hinting
just do it
no questions asked
i don't care if you don't understand
just do as i request
you look at me
with your quizzical look
telling me you don't understand
your conscience is dwindling...

i blink
think for a moment and smile
the calm has come...
...and then...

are you going to be ok?
i remember you have some difficulties
thinking and making decisions
all these things
they could be bad
cause for alarm
bringing you harm!
go seek help
go find your way
you could be dying
but its hard to say!
just tell me this one thing
am i overwhelming you?
is everything ok?
do you understand me?
should i talk a little softer?
shall i fetch you some water?

i sigh and it all washes away
so many contemplations
wandering through my day
my head the icicle
frozen in itself
over encumbered
by all of the stress
my god i want a break
but one doesnt seem to find me...

a note from the musician

the lyricists poetry

floating on by 

killing the deaths 

of all who try

give me solace

give me an answer

i keep running amok

with this cute little dancer

you say that i'm running away

seeking no solution to my problems

but the fact of the matter here is i have none

my running is in these stationary actions

never wavering from path of sameness

largely ignoring all of my passions

in attempt to make life painless

give me all those trials

give me adventure

the musicians notes

flow into your ears

for that zen-like moment

you let go of your fears

...and this is where i live...

Bill Hicks

tumble for not
you sappy little girl
sending me vicious thoughts
of unintended happiness
hoping ill do the same

run away
you gross little boy
piling all your wisdom
into a heap of nothing
driving yourself insane

all life is a ride
mild at parts
then sending your hair to fly
shimmy through the line
while the express ticket people fly on by
if you dont like the roller coaster
then why not try the water slide?

poem to poets

what a place
the writing flows
all these creative people
exuding a creative glow
we go
onward the ways we will
snapping our fingers
as every stanza stands still
sweet words of someone else's poetry
filling my ears
listing all of their memories
all of their fears
what a wonderful thought.

idle judgement

you know where your soul comes from
the area below where you live
if the world around you yelled in excitement
out the bottom it leaks like a sieve

as the world around you turns
leaving the universe spinning too
annoying counter particulars
are standing judging you
but instead of being all wrapped up in the moment
where they stand idly and stare
instead enjoy the worlds peace
after all thats why its there

someone so strange

its so strange
i barely know you
yet i miss you
alone in this bed
as if you're supposed to be here

i hope you have adventures
i wish you new amazing things
arriving departures
as the air by you sings
bringing you further
there is a world of experience
so many wonders to behold
and in between
new stories to be told

i want to hear them all

inspiration as an art form

its so strange
i can not figure out my muse
its as though she isn't there
i think as my brain blows a fuse
she seems to only inspire
in the moments i'm not there
unavailable for art
neglecting to be fair

maybe my artistic conduit isn't one with something to leave
but rather a social construct forming around me

the people i meet
and places i'm in
all looking to be inspired
by whatever they can
my art my muse
inside spiraling around
to flow to whats right
i cant keep distractions
or the beauty i see
so i let it flow straight out of me
when somebody asks
where is your mind
i can only really answer
that I've left that behind

i feel you in my bones

if this goose is cooked
whats with all the feathers?
the ices and the blues
are shredding through the weather

it seems as though
in another universe
you and i led a full life together
never looking to hate
stuck in simple intrigue
something i'll remember forever

but we acquire
all things a must
our lives at random
including trust
feel our hips together
in a spiritual thrust
i may be a muse
fluid and unrealistic
but i feel you in my bones
a feeling that may stick

my muse myself

so these things, these things all provide new
the new so far, is the same old jive
the queen so lonely
longing to be a different part of the hive
i like her, wish in this swarm
that these little bees did not follow
i wish to go alone
i can not help all of you
not like what you need
the watering is up to you
i simply plant the seed

I am a Muse.

old friends, old music

I've known these people a long time

I know most of them very well

though times change

we seem to trade

it seems strange

downward spiral

que generic scene drop

unique line

the speakers play pop

my life the indie movie

just doesn't seem to end

it plays on loop

continue till I'm dead

but hold.

the scene changes

an unexpected surprise

after watching this movie 

a thousand times

it feeds and gives life 

to intangible rhymes

the beat rises

and my tune begins to quirk

with the loss of sameness

loss of stress to shirk 

i swim in this sea

and cease to sink

depressive smiles

I sit wondering if I’m depressed
Ponder as I smile
Heading the call of distress
I suppose I’ll be here a while

But the journey takes me
Takes me somewhere new
Somewhere near you
You, who I am, and will always be
I travel onward
Go so far
And yet so close
On this tiny planet
Home bound for the coast
With this piece of toast
So gently placed in my mouth
Nourishing my doubt
And yet suspending all disbelief

i try

i try,
i try very hard sometimes
i try to not get involved
its not fair to other people
i'm a mess
and i'm aware
but i try

i turn a blind eye
all the world can still see me
open in all aspects
except for knowing where to be
i've never felt so alone
i've never wanted to leave this much
stuck in waiting
i've never longed so for your touch

i travel alone
even with all these people
aboard my time boat
traveling freely

i will be ok
life goes on always with or without me