a thousand times

a thousand times
i write the same old thing
i miss you so much
a literal sting

i dont know if you like me
i dont know if you will even say yes
it scares me so much
i laugh at rejection
these people don't mean shit
and i long for your touch

today i think
my black balloon will fly
but this time
it wont be flying by

im grabbing ahold and saying hello
going somewhere wonderful
until my hand loses grip
and i fall to my death
land happy under it all

a thousand times
i write the same old thing
but i write them for you
with the untold name

i miss you.

why dont i have the courage?
to say what ive wanted to for years
just some simple little words
and wash away all my fears

i divulge in all these lies
still go back to you
why do i wait around
when i know what i must do?

maybe i'm worried
that you're just like the rest
i cant be sure
there is no test

some point in my life
i will tell you how i feel
i pray its not too late
i hope you know my thoughts are real
i hope i fall right into fate

i try so hard every time i see you
you still seem the same
pipe dreams of you knowing how i feel
but i wont tell your name

obvious hints
only you understand
i guess i failed
in what i had planned

i need to be straight foreward
i need to speak the truth
i need to wait
i'm afraid you'll spook

all the times
i've done stupid things
to make you think less of me
all the rhymes
in my mind
tell me that you should be free
whatever that means...