found my way home

to be or not to be
this question finally answered me
to all of those
who knew no clothes
we are who we want to see
be positive
for love is the answer
all those who come to your hilt
why not fight this cancer
your hate will drive you mad
anger causes suffering
love is the way home
all of us drunkenly stumbling
to a destination away
clicking our heels
saying what we say
theres no place like home
i wont rest til i arrive
but you are always here
just observe the hive

oh so many bees
always jumping onto me
surrounding their queens

the honey must be made
the wax there for storage
but its ok to envy
those who set out to forage

THE TRUTH

you reside in my mind all of the time

you don't pay your rent, and we meet on the fly

and you intrigue my eyes

my ears want to cry

the beauty in your words

the syllables all smile

at least thats what i heard

not even a scream can describe my feelings

the most romantic of whispers fail to compare

you want me to stay?

then i'm not going anywhere

but the way you're looking

is just too unfair

you have smooth friendly legs

they dance when they like

your smiling face

not noticing mine

your warm kind hands

throwing all your words

they cool my heart

and heal its burns

your fantasmal mind

and translating tongue

always challenging

creating new fun

Claire,

where the hell did you come from?

i may say it a lot

still can't be more true

i am so amazingly

in love with you

sharpie me i'm in love

i wander now
my thoughts forever more
the translation from right brain
obscured and told the score
to be a human
in this magnificent life
to be forever in love
to eliminate times strife
i am free of my old chains
and here i've gained new
cleaning my pasts stains
while thinking of you
i never would have gotten here
if it weren't for your love
telling me what's what
when push came to shove

for this i am grateful
because of this i have grown
because of this

i am in love

tomorrow beach

under where you tide

my side

the splits that reside inside

why do we lie to ourselves

and deceive your inner child

telling them they are wrong

they can not run wild

who are you to say 

binding your inner mind

let go of your ways

tomorrow's s too late

when every day is today

its time i ramble on

toward where i came

to my destination

the one i can not leave

i am always home

earth is my house

i reside inside

my minds eye

always killing my time

the constant wars

and perpetuating paradox

a consistent cycle

leads me here again

i am always here

i am always home

home is where i roam

yet if i could tell you 

the things that i think

my ponders wildy growing 

threatening to sink

flowing and breaking

like waves of strange horror

splashes of glee throwing me

to an undertide of love

to wake again

on the beach of tomorrow

the number four

my dreams are in flux
sometimes way too much
i'll see where it takes me now

oh, but who am i
far too contagiously high
i'll see you around the town

as you may see by golly
sentenced two years on folly
i guess you were meant to drown

and yet once again said i
you've fallen too many times
now you stand your ground

im seeing in layers

here i sit

my contemplation at its peak

the people all around me

sitting in silence

yet speaking what they call words

they transfer their ideas

their brains trying as they may

correcting the language

of all the friends they make

who are you people

can you even answer my question

what if i take your precious words

would you then use discretion?

there is something in the woodwork here

something different has come

some new existence

one we are not from

but WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?

and where the hell did you come from?

from moment to moment 

all disappearing and then some

the only thing holding us together 

is the longing to be accepted

the need to be loved

the intrigue of where we're headed

Amelia

kindling the passion
my spirit so desperately needs
so what if i am different
i go and plant all these seeds
these seeds are not all good
in fact most times they are bad
i'm learning from my mistakes
now its time to put them in effect

flow down the river sticks
where have i gone before?
i want to know so much indeed
you will have to tell me more

when i am well again
my spirit will provide guidance
bring me back to full capacity
it's there you reach your highest
the lessons you learn from knowing me
they may not come from my smarts
but rather the trials facing you
inspiring all of your arts

pacing holes in the floor

woah damn i'm pissed
you take me from my place
then you give me this?

well who the fuck are you?
you to tell me what i should
and should not do

i'm told i need to listen to society
i'm never told what parts
if i hear the whole thing
i just end up lost

you're doing it wrong
according to everyone else
so why the fuck listen
and sacrifice yourself?

one group will say
what the straight and narrow is
telling you what life is all about
that's all well and good
even through all the doubt

....but do not ever
tell me that what i say is wrong
you are the ass here
and only i know whats up
my life is designed
by the ways in my mind
the ways, you're telling me
that i will never find

tells me how smart you are...

where is my solace?
why no salvation?
why with this oneness
do i feel this frustration?

don't scratch that itch
and it will go away
pick and make it bleed
to give your clothes a stain

then pace the day away

never in my life
have i connected completely
not so much as right now
yet i feel more alone than ever
even here, in my home town

sunshine and yelling

such a depressive little boy
aren't i?
so many of these things left
just to get me down
i've been running away
why not fly?
depressive smiling
in this odd little town

...wow i try too hard...

myself is a creation of circumstance
i am a product of my environment

i was raised on sunshine and yelling
i was taught to love
but not what love means
taught to fight
but lack enemies to see
make friends to survive
for i lack the energy

maybe i'm not trying enough
i'm a victim of my emotions
telling myself i'm not enough
i just wish less people agreed

FUCK!
there's always beauty to behold
there's always a reason to smile

you can cry
its just fine
you can smile
as long as you like
life is eternal only in this instant

to learn

these new synapses
firing in my brain
still so unsettling
causing a little pain

the bridge your father warned you of
the challenge you said you would face
using ones logical mind
to not fall far from grace

but i scream in my psyche
my heart sobs so wildly
i don't know what i want
its the moments that define me

i know i could never be all that is needed
the pain is caused from this idea seeded
watered then uprooted
the shock is so much
potted in soil
water so cold
feeling the roots touch...

but there is always a lesson to learn