pacing holes in the floor

woah damn i'm pissed
you take me from my place
then you give me this?

well who the fuck are you?
you to tell me what i should
and should not do

i'm told i need to listen to society
i'm never told what parts
if i hear the whole thing
i just end up lost

you're doing it wrong
according to everyone else
so why the fuck listen
and sacrifice yourself?

one group will say
what the straight and narrow is
telling you what life is all about
that's all well and good
even through all the doubt

....but do not ever
tell me that what i say is wrong
you are the ass here
and only i know whats up
my life is designed
by the ways in my mind
the ways, you're telling me
that i will never find

tells me how smart you are...

where is my solace?
why no salvation?
why with this oneness
do i feel this frustration?

don't scratch that itch
and it will go away
pick and make it bleed
to give your clothes a stain

then pace the day away

never in my life
have i connected completely
not so much as right now
yet i feel more alone than ever
even here, in my home town

sunshine and yelling

such a depressive little boy
aren't i?
so many of these things left
just to get me down
i've been running away
why not fly?
depressive smiling
in this odd little town

...wow i try too hard...

myself is a creation of circumstance
i am a product of my environment

i was raised on sunshine and yelling
i was taught to love
but not what love means
taught to fight
but lack enemies to see
make friends to survive
for i lack the energy

maybe i'm not trying enough
i'm a victim of my emotions
telling myself i'm not enough
i just wish less people agreed

FUCK!
there's always beauty to behold
there's always a reason to smile

you can cry
its just fine
you can smile
as long as you like
life is eternal only in this instant

to learn

these new synapses
firing in my brain
still so unsettling
causing a little pain

the bridge your father warned you of
the challenge you said you would face
using ones logical mind
to not fall far from grace

but i scream in my psyche
my heart sobs so wildly
i don't know what i want
its the moments that define me

i know i could never be all that is needed
the pain is caused from this idea seeded
watered then uprooted
the shock is so much
potted in soil
water so cold
feeling the roots touch...

but there is always a lesson to learn